#JesusPeace

      Even though today is Christmas, this post isn't exactly the upbeat, chipper one most might expect. The past 3 months back at school have been a journey, and a struggle. Although I kept on top of my grades as I wanted to, my life right now isn't exactly on a clear cut path. I have no idea where I'm headed even tomorrow (metaphorically). The experiences I've had this past semester have brought me to question who I am, who I want to be, and who I care about. Way back when I started this blog (almost a year ago) I posted a lot about my journey of finding myself, and learning to love myself. There have been times where I thought I was actually getting somewhere, but as of right now I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.
     Being that I'm on break at home I thought this would give me sometime to figure things out, and clear some issues up before starting next semester, but I'm afraid I might go back to school with no progress. On Sunday I got to go to my church at home called, Crossroads. I missed that place a lot, and it definitely feels like home to me. Since it was close to Christmas, the sermons lately have been about what Jesus is to us. Sunday's main idea was that Jesus is, the "Prince of Peace." The pastor shared the idea of "Jesus Peace". Jesus Peace contains 4 main elements: 1. Forgiveness of sin 2. Rest in Life 3.Trust in Times of Trouble 4. Eternal Security. I desperately need #2 and #3 right now. Colossians 3:15 says, ^"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." 
    There's quite a few things in my life right now that make my heart heavy. There are problems I don't know how to resolve so I have just been burying them, but I feel like there has to be a breaking point sooner or later. I thought I have been giving them to God, and praying about them, but the idea of Jesus Peace has kind of made these heartaches a little easier to do deal with. True "Jesus Peace" is nothing of this world. Inside I know that my relationship with God isn't how it once was, but I will always firmly believe in my heart that nothing in this world can ever truly satisfy me, only Jesus. Jesus Peace is what I need in my life, my relationships, my thoughts, and my whole entire world. I don't want to be sitting here giving another sermon like every other post, but having God in my life has made living in this world so much more worth it. I may be defending myself right now, and I know I suck at truly living a Christian lifestyle at times, but no matter what I do, no matter how many times I leave Him, I know God will always forgive me, and will always be waiting for me to come back. And I always will come back. No matter how long I've strayed away. 
        I, in no way deserve to be loved like that, but that's just it. Jesus' love covers all my messes that make up what is Jamie Herman's life. As my pastor said, "Jesus Peace starts with a conversation with God." If you need this kind of peace in your life too, don't be afraid to ask Him. Since it is Christmas, I want to leave this post that sums up the meaning of it all: Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born,  to us a son is given,  and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

You're God, I'm not. You lead, I'll follow.

I Immerse Myself In You

       In the past few years I have really grown a liking to star gazing/watching sun sets. If you have never done this I highly recommend it. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to do some star gazing up on Garvin Heights (if you haven't done that, it is AMAZING), and also with a friend from back home at her house (our star gazing place (: ). With school, and just the busyness of life in general, it's hard for me to take time to relax, and give myself a break to breathe. But when I actually do take the time to do the simple act of just laying down and staring at the sky with all the wonder it holds, it allows me to take a huge step back from life, and just be, and think.
      The overwhelming sense of peace I get from star gazing is unbelievable. It's the best stress reliever, and really puts things into a whole new perspective. I've always been kind of a nerd when it comes to astronomy. I find it all super interesting, and when I was younger, my dad purchased me a little telescope. Just laying there and thinking about how many stars are in the sky, how far away they are from earth, but how bright they still are to the naked eye is unfathomable. They are tiny balls fire millions of light years away, but yet we can still see them. When I think about all of this, I just become consumed when the question, "How can people not believe in a God with a world like this?" The universe is sooooo huge, and sooo unending. There are millions of galaxies. We have no idea what is out there, and scientists have problem only made a dent in what we can find out about the stars, planets, and just the universe as a whole.
     When I sit there, and think about how huge the universe is, and all the amazing sights it holds, it makes all my worries, and problems here on earth seem so minuscule, and pointless. I mean, look what God made for us. There is so much evidence of God in nature. Nature is the single most beautiful God created in my opinion. When I'm looking up at the sky at those stars it just makes me feel like the possibilities are endless, and that there is so much more to life than all the little things we make to seem so important. All of the things that make me cry, hurt me, or even bring me joy won't matter years from now. If my God can create something as wondrous as a ball of fire that lights up the sky, he can definitely take care of me, and all my little "problems". Looking at the stars just makes me feel like there's so much more out there then a 9-5 job. It makes me feel like God truly has a purpose to my life, but that this life is only the tiniest portion of forever with Him. It's really hard for me to explain all of this, but just the peace I feel from it makes each day a little easier to bear when I know something much bigger is really at the end of this journey called life, which will make everything I go through and do worth it.