It's been since August that I last wrote on here, and I can't say I'm where I was then, but I'm happy where I am now (finally). I came off my mountain-top from my amazing experience in Seattle quite quickly as school got busy, and with life happening. I started falling back into my pit of doubt, and insecurity with my relationship with God again and just my life in general. However, I have this new mindset in life that I refuse to go back to where I was in life where I let anxiety/depression decide for me if I'm happy, or not. Although I haven't gotten as low as I've been, I can't say I haven't struggled somedays, but just cause the sun isn't shining doesn't mean it isn't right behind the clouds.
This semester I've started a complete new journey in my life: clean eating. I'm not the person to think of myself as "fat", but I'd like to be happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. With the help of my brother, and a couple of close friends I'm in week twelve of my "diet" and have lost about 15 lbs. I can see some change which makes me super happy, but it's not without a lot of work. I meal prep on Sundays for the entire week, and make sure I get all my lifting/cardio in for the week. Along with that new part of my life, dancing is in full swing for MY Senior Show. I cannot believe this will be my last dance performance in college. I get to finally do a solo, and I'm really excited for all the other dances I get to be a part of. I'm also very happy to officially let the social media world know that I will be returning to Seattle this summer as student staff, and have my practicum placement set at the Minnesota Correctional Facility for Juveniles in Red Wing for the fall as my last semester of school before graduating.
With all this craziness of eating, dancing, working out, and school I know I NEED to take care of myself. So getting to the title of this post; I've recently been working on being intentional with everything I do. The last two weeks of my life have been very happy because I go into everyday with an attitude that all the interactions, and things I have to do for that day matter. My main thing is intentionally making time for God everyday. Sometimes I feel like it's force because I can always think of something else I "need" to do, but I know if I'm not taking the time for Him, each day would be a struggle. Life is a lot easier when I give Him the weight on my shoulders. I know that getting time for God everyday is what has changed my level of happiness. He literally carries me through each day. I wouldn't be able to handle the dieting, working out, and crazy school schedule without him. Being intentional about everything I do makes life mean more to me, and I won't settle for a mediocre life. This new change in my life will be the growth I need as a person, and as a Christian as I go into the summer and head back to Seattle in a leadership position.
